Trying to find people who will listen.

Wed, 22 Sep 2004 19:09:28 GMT

John, I know what's going on. I know what the government is up to and we have to stop it.

I need your help. I don't want to disclose anything on here because they're watching us.

I'm going over to meet the three of you now.

Wed, 15 Sep 2004 03:15:20 GMT

Something's not right.

I think I have an idea about what's been happening lately, but it's too risky to say just now.

I have to go. I'm at a cafe and a man across the room has been staring at me, probably trying to see what I'm writing. That, and John is on the phone. I haven't seen him since yesterday.

I'll be back later with more information.

Trust no one.

because I said I was going to bed and I haven't.

Thu, 22 Jul 2004 02:11:25 GMT

last words you said: "John. I'm full. Please. No more food."

last song you sang?: Well, the last I can remember was humming to Beethoven's 5th at a store.

last person you hugged?: John. :)

last thing you laughed at?: Agents Mulder and Scully coming by earlier and trying to keep their hands off one another.

last time you said 'i love you' and meant it?: I whispered it to John right when he drifted off.

what's in your cd player right now?: Well, I'm using a laptop John brought. There is no cd in here.

what color socks are you wearing?: I'm not wearing any.

what's under your bed?: I don't.. know.

what time did you wake up today?: nine. But i had to pretend to be asleep until 10 so that John wouldn't bother me about it.

current taste?: gatorade.

current hair?: bed hair.

current clothes?: Heh. a blue patient's gown.

current annoyance?: John's periodical groans of discomfort that scare me into thinking he's awoken.

current longing?: John. awake.

current desktop picture?: er.. he's got a flower on here.

current worry?: the date i'll get out of here. I've got a lot of things I need to figure out.

current hate?: the ones who did this to me.

favorite physical feature of the opposite sex?: goatee. :grin:

last cd you bought?: Gosh. I haven't bought a cd in ages. I think I bought the Dido cd last.

if you could play an instrument what would it be?: I don't think anyone knows I play the piano.

favorite color?: dark red.

favorite season?: Fall.

favorite person from your past: My mother. Except she's not really my past. She's always with me.

favorite day?: today. right now. with John right next to me.

where would you like to go?: out of here.

Finally, have you ever kissed a member of the same sex?: Yes. But that was long ago.

Thu, 22 Jul 2004 01:48:40 GMT

When I opened my eyes on Sunday, a short, petite woman was gently touching my forehead, apparently checking for a stable temperature. “Suzanne Modeski?” she asked, leaning towards my ear, “I’m Agent Dana Scully. I’m Mulder’s…partner. Do you have any memories whatsoever as to what you’ve been through this past week?” I blinked and focused in on her face, and it dawned on me. I knew this woman. I met her once in Las Vegas with Frohike and John. I smiled inwardly. John.

“Suzanne? I need you to nod your head if you can hear me.” I nodded slowly.

.

It’s nearly 2 in the morning now and John is next to me, sleeping in the small chair next to my bed. He really doesn’t look relaxed. His right arm is carelessly sprawled under his head and his facial expression is one of discomfort. I’m convinced he’ll wake up with a stiff neck tomorrow.

I’m so happy to see him. He looked like a 10 year old boy when he saw me. I have no idea how long I’d been gone but judging from the look of pure joy in his eyes, it must have been long enough to keep him concerned. He’s been treating me like a new born baby ever since, asking me if I’m alright every hour and bringing me excess amounts of food. I’m really very full.

I don't know when I'm getting out of the hospital, but I’d better go back to sleep. I just felt dizzy and John stirred, anyway. He’d go absolutely berserk if he knew I wasn’t getting my rest. That and I've got a lot of things to figure out. Better save my energy.